I've got forty-four channels going twenty-four hours. You can guess what kind of state I'm in. I'm diggin' I Love Lucy and The Man from U.N.C.L.E., then switch to Lynne Russell up on C. N. N. I've got my hand on the remote if anything should bore me. I switch to reverend Gene and he begins to pray. In the bluish light I see a tome before me; it helps me out if I should lose my way. Cable Guide, Cable Guide, how I need you by my side. I'd hate to think I'm just along for the ride, but I'll always feel safe with my Cable Guide. I've got a pyramid of beer cans on the coffee table. Ain't fed my cat in 'bout a week or more. I'll get up and go to work as soon as I am able. I even get my food delivered from the store. I don't need to complicate my life with action; I get enough of that on MTV. I don't want to join any political faction; CSPAN lets me know just what they're doin' to me. I'll always feel safe (he'll always feel safe) You'll always feel safe with your Cable Guide.
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